ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
November 2, 2011
Raw by ~ndris970 Suggester Writes: Although capturing so many allusions in a short poem is something very challenging, ~ndris970 managed to do that— and more— very well. This also showcases great use of rhyme and pace.
Featured by BeccaJS
Suggested by angelStained
Literature Text
Hailed as the weeper
that cries in your stead
Those Albatross claws ruptured my redd
Gone is my hollow
of prickly twine
Leaving its chill-
burrowed 'gainst spine
I'll be the lost one
seeped in the ground
Sniff up my ashes with Baskerville hound
Keep me the dreamer,
Please,
keep me so sane
Rolled, pricked, and marked
as meat to your grain
Hear my heart beat;
forever I'll rest
A thump and a moment
-with clichés at best
that cries in your stead
Those Albatross claws ruptured my redd
Gone is my hollow
of prickly twine
Leaving its chill-
burrowed 'gainst spine
I'll be the lost one
seeped in the ground
Sniff up my ashes with Baskerville hound
Keep me the dreamer,
Please,
keep me so sane
Rolled, pricked, and marked
as meat to your grain
Hear my heart beat;
forever I'll rest
A thump and a moment
-with clichés at best
Literature
Subduction
We drip into October
with the silence of spiders
heavy in our chests,
our hearts curling in
on themselves like
leaves in autumn.
Lungs unfurl into the
stillness;
there is a breath, a whisper--
This dying wind whistles
through empty throats,
as if to murmur a warning,
perhaps, that we threaten
to become
earthquakes
along our hipbones.
Literature
On conversations
I
have upset the order
of things, birds
fall fast and featherflappingly from
shaken skies, and leaves
curl backwards into trees
which snap
from frost in summer, my heart
is a bell that rings until
glass shatters and frost falls
fearful on the ground and I
just do not know how
to tell you.
Literature
Even Though
There will be no caged fingers,
no tendons finely tuned to A from tension.
There will be no clenched teeth, gritting rosin,
to make the final singing note growl.
There will be unwinding bed-sheets,
hands slowly releasing the tuning pegs.
There will be slowly sliding scales
as the four limbs loosen past playing.
There will be a simple, quiet exit,
not to ovation, but to a hushed audience
who anticipate an encore,
even though it is uncertain.
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
Written May 16, 2009. Major edit August 25 2011 & August 2011.
This is an all-time favorite of mine, and I am constantly trying to recapture the magic that turned into 'Raw.' This was a re-imagining of a piece examining the inner turmoil one feels when a person walks away from them: a deep-wrenched sorrow as your life turns over & a martyrdom- begging them to return even at sacrifice to yourself.
There area also a few literature/cultural references allusions: The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, Pat-a-Cake, Tell Tale Heart, Sweeney Todd, and Sherlock Holmes.
See if you can collect all 5!
This is an all-time favorite of mine, and I am constantly trying to recapture the magic that turned into 'Raw.' This was a re-imagining of a piece examining the inner turmoil one feels when a person walks away from them: a deep-wrenched sorrow as your life turns over & a martyrdom- begging them to return even at sacrifice to yourself.
There area also a few literature/cultural references allusions: The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, Pat-a-Cake, Tell Tale Heart, Sweeney Todd, and Sherlock Holmes.
See if you can collect all 5!
© 2009 - 2024 paintedpoetry
Comments39
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by
ing the News Article.
Keep writing and keep creating.
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by
ing the News Article.Keep writing and keep creating.